Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
