hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
