i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
