I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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