"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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