We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
