well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
