I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I had to cum in my sink.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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