well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
