a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
