good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
