a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm having to shit out rocks
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