why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
