she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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