Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
