Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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