worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
