New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
