girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
