You really coming over, don't trick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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