dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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