how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this hospital has no fireball
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
