hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
