I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
