so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
