Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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