so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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