oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
