my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was confusing and full of hummus
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I deserve this hangover.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
