the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
