this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
