Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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