Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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