You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
