Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
