do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
