I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
