he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
