There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
