If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
