if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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