Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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