Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
