Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
