I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
