Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
