No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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