You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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