I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Randomize
