I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this will be a night to untag.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
