i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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