I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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